coupl’a smallish updates

[a_flyleaf]

Or like, small(ish) by my standards. Y’know, my initial thought was to combine these with the linkrec, but then three paragraphs happened so.

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I think the best possible encapsulation of my work process, whether it be writing or schoolwork or literally just catching up on my inbox here on Dreamwidth dot org, is that one skit from SpongeBob where a character flicks a lightbulb on and off in rapid succession while saying “life death life death life d[etc.]”. (For the uninitiated, a link that may or may not work; Piped’s been having problems lately so you can also try the YouTube version, although it looks like this clip keeps getting taken down so who knows if that version will last. Ah, internet ephemerality.)

…Where was I.

That One Writing Challenge

Yeah, so, that AU roulette challenge! (Tag subject to change.) Here’s what happened, in a very literary and poetic format:

> be me
> receive bitch-ass prompt that fits the fandom like a glove: “Lovecraftian/cosmic horror”
> flip shit
(for the record the other two were “Sherlock Holmes/detective” and “Fairytale”; both have potential but the first just smacked me in the face and I had to see it through somehow.)
> skim right over the most obvious uses of the prompt because We Must Be Different In This House, and Make Metaphors
> (even when it later turns out that this kind of goes against the crux of, if not the entire genre, Lovecraft’s own approach)

> consider a couple disparate ideas, one of which follows the prompt more literally and the other being prime callout real estate
> go with idea #1
> stall
> stall
> stall
> staoh my god okay okay fine just write idea #2. just to test
> oops that one’s leagues more inspiring
> coolbeans.jpg

> meanwhile, attempt to do Thorough Genre Research to get a good grade in cosmic horror
> read several stories by writers who influenced the genre, and some of Lovecraft’s early work, and life is good. thematic tenets nailed firmly into head
> hey can we actually read like. About Cthulu n shit though
> read story about Cthulu
> relatively uninterested.
> the idea as-is is only using the eldritch shit as a story device anyway (as opposed to like, deeply worldbuilding an actual alternative universe) but jesus,, Christ

> since when was it September
> Three Days Left.
> go through five stages of grief and assume fetal position while being whacked with the broom of deep-rooted writerly insecurity
> Two Days Left.
> as these things always come down to, Just Write The Fucker with zero regard for quality or flow or anything
> One Day Left.
> rewrite “outline,” in a feeble attempt to put a leash on this thing, and spend the rest of the day nailing what exists into something resembling said outline
> People Who Have Been Writing For So Long They No Longer Have Boundaries Quality Control
> nitpick the ever-loving hell out of word choice anyway
> it is past midnight
> hit post.

All of which is to say I had a fantastic time; I am reminded viscerally why I do not like deadlines; I am being partially sarcastic about the time being fantastic but I also did!! get an idea out of my head that’s been festering there for months!!! prompt adherence be damned!!!!!

I will crosspost the thing, with or without some degree of editing, to my own site… kasnije (later), Eventually, probably. When I either feel like touching it up more or am past the point of caring if it’s a mess. For now, if this unhinged authorial flailing has caught your attention, here is a story in which I turn a beloved character, who I have drawn primarily in the context of shitposts, into a kind of nightmarish person. It does very much spoil the major twist of the game, and I provide no content warnings beyond what Ao3 offers.

P.S. Fun fact, I completely did not even remotely think about the title, not even a little, until the literal minute I was staring at the Archive Of Our Own Dot Org submission page. ~Learning experience~ 🫠

hey a-flyleaf you good

In all seriousness I am hyperbolic a lot for humorous effect, and all in all the fun outweighed the #hashtagStruggle. I think. Or maybe it was about even. Or even if this is the type of thing you could objectively quantify, Thing Was Written and it was a hell of a challenge, and so I am making the Fun Challenge part my takeaway even if, towards the end, I was figuratively gritting my teeth a lot.

Someday I will get to a place where sharing prose freely as I do scribble-arts won’t give me a perfectionism-insecurity-cocktail aneurysm. Someday…!!..!

. . .
Also, with this (more or less, barring aforementioned potential edits) behind me, I can get back to work on the other story, a significantly less questionable longfic I’ve been chipping at for months & have definitely alluded to before \o/
Been kinda half-tempted to share an excerpt that works out of context, ngl, but I’m also trying to temper my hype because I feel like getting external feedback might flick the brain switch that says It Done. It is not done, but there’s about 3 chapters left and I’m fairly confident in their trajectory, so…! Maybe in the interlude between completing the draft and actually starting to polish & publish it….

Focus Win! Writer Picks Best Fucking Time to Get Back Into Roleplay

This happened, also, recently. 🤪.

It is wild to me how different the norms are here vs the forum-based RP I grew up on, never even mind TTRPGS (tabletop roleplay games, like Dungeons & Dragons); so many different standards and approaches to what’s effectively playing pretend with (usually-)strangers…. A thorough comparison warrants a post of its own, but for now suffice it to say I am having fun.

Inadvertently, DWRP has also given me a crash course on why people actually switch out icons here. Like, I’d gleaned that it was a sort of mood-setting thing, establishing a tone in a more visual way than text-based emoticons (emojis don’t count, whippersnappers), but people will upload hundreds of icons so their characters can have varying micro-expressions and it’s nuts. And frankly, as someone who tends to use a lot of emoticons/emojis when talking to someone new because If My Tone Is Misread I’ll Die, I see the appeal! We just did a severe focus boomerang in this paragraph but like, Icon Convey Feeling ok that it lesson done. go home.

no seriously that’s it that’s all I got

Yes, I have the audacity to call this humbled scrollbar “smallish” because it is but two (2) main subjects. Idek man I’m tired my brain is fried on the grill of internet words, have an album rec for your troubles~…!!!