a_flyleaf: (This is fine.)
2025-02-22 11:30 am
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egads, the dust

It’s been 5,000 years, it’s the old song and dance, w/e, okay. Rather than make any ambitious promises or speculation about activity henceforth, I am simply going to drop things on my mind as they come, and if this happens more frequently, cool! If it doesn’t, then this is certainly a post that exists.

no organization no gods no masters )

a_flyleaf: (smug mug)
2023-08-08 11:46 pm

some reads

This was supposed to be a short post (“some reads, some writes”) and then the reading rec section turned into like, four-ish (not-quite-)book reviews in a bigass trenchcoat. Cut cut, motherfuckers.

reads

Random recs from recent, all of which made me Think for some reason or another: ✂️ )

2021-09-14 11:15 pm
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PMMM musings, movie edition: #VINDICATED

Just gonna casually quote myself from Discord (minor #spoilers):

my main thoughts are something like “Homura get therapy” and “if madoka is jesus/ascends to god and homura becomes the devil then what the fuck is sayaka” and “dang, bebe is A (Human) Character now” and “what the fuck is going onnnnn

also I loved it

More spoilery version:

homura pls )

And now the actual post cutoff; spoilers for everything. )
2021-09-13 09:01 pm
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assorted PMMM musings 2: universal boogaloo

Uh.

Hm.

I’m not satisfied with that ending, but I don’t think I’m supposed to be…?

i want madoka to dismantle the establishment )
2021-09-12 10:30 pm
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assorted PMMM musings

or: In which I continue to fall down the psychoanalytical symbolic anime girl rabbit hole, except instead of losing it over heavily-implied incest I’m mostly flexing the general analysis muscles and gushing over how damn well this is playing out.

Binged Puella Magi Madoka Magica with my partner today, up to (and not including) episode 7! Since it was a live-watch all I have are fragments from chat, which means I’ve been forced to actually [gasp] compile my thoughts into a more readable format. (Granted, I’m not sure how much my RGU reactions make sense out of context, but sometimes I actually bother to copy lines of dialogue and such. Obviously that cannot occur if I’m typing as I watch without pause.)

I think my biggest takeaway, thus far and probably overall, is that this entire show is the meme of the woman screaming at the cat.

young girl shakes fist at cat )
2021-09-07 09:54 pm
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utena 4+5: lit

Hell yeah, finished some work in class today. Time for the two-parter >:3

I’m just gonna put everything under one big cut )


episode 3 | [next post link will go here] →

2021-08-23 11:47 am
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utena 2: smiling flowers? i love undertale

Galaxy brain thought: dueling is sexually charged via Intentional Phallic Imagery, and I also know RGU is inverting the Princely Ideal (masculine!) somehow. To win a duel one must knock the rose off the opponent, therefore dueling functions as a f. as a def. flwo. Remove Flwoer, De

i’m not being fully serious with that but I was trying to think of a good title joke and realized I still don’t know what the rose means. Freud bashing my head in the gutter aside, this episode’s title likens the rose to Anthy, who just declared she “belongs” to Utena, so that’s interesting.

let’s get this show on the road! )


episode 1 / “intermission” | episode 3

2021-08-18 06:13 pm

utena intermission: unedited thoughts

drawing by yours truly
^Super quick screenshot speedpaint-redraw from this bit, because among all the cool scenery packed into the debut episode alone, the bars here stuck out to me. (The orange-y corners are weird; I’m not sure if that’s intentional or some kind of physical film rot?)

Anyway, the problem with using RGU as a figurative carrot on a stick is that, if it is not sufficiently motivating enough for me to do $otherThings, then both grind to a halt >:V For now, have some additional musings jotted down shortly after the first liveblog, mostly unedited.

look ma, a readmore button )
2021-08-15 05:11 pm
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utena 1: the bridening

…It dawns on me one unfortunate thing about liveblogging on Dreamwidth is that I have to like, Manually save/upload/copy images, if I include any (and given that the visuals are so significant, I very well might be). Maybe I will just use video timetamps and links, for the sake of not stopping for like five minutes every time I want to stick a little screenshot in.

Anyway!

post-watch disclaimer: I got the names wrong until now so pardon the first “anthy” )


first impressions | intermission / episode 2

2021-08-13 11:16 am

all aboard the utena train: a very formal prelude

I am under the impression [Revolutionary Girl Utena] is something resembling a diegetic shoujo princess/knight story but it is under a billion layers of metaphor and symbolism and cool silhouettes that had a formative impact on modern cartoons, and also someone turns into a car

^me, yesterday. I was telling myself I wouldn’t start watching this until I checked a couple things off my to-do list (art and replies, namely), and in the name of self-control I… should probably stick to that, actually. Got a busy couple days ahead too, which could throw a wrench in the binging plans, but I have a lil bit of time to kill so I’m going to bang out some current impressions/thoughts. And then later we can see if I’m anywhere near accurate :D

impressions were unclear there are no cars til the movie, but still )


Oh yeah, I should also mention: I don’t have a spoiler policy/preference, since I don’t tend to avoid them in general, so there’s other random tidbits I’ve heard vaguely about but didn’t think to note above. (Something something incest something something.. eggs?? That One Pose with the dramatic sword through the torso. And anything I might recognize from SU.)

But that being said, I’m going in pretty blind as far as the overall plot trajectory is concerned, and would probably* like to stay that way! Vague ominous hints like “oh you’re gonna love this next part” are cool, outright “xyz happens next” nah. (*Well, probably. If I read a wiki or something that’s on me. :P)


liveblog start: in which I actually get Utena and Anthy’s names right

2019-08-09 10:40 pm
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:^T

Oh, Infinity Train. Not to sound like a Disney villain, but I really wanted to love you.

Despite losing the motive to keep up my post-watch thoughtdumps after a couple nights, I actually did enjoy the past few episodes, especially yesterday’s. I was hyped to replay clips again and again, admiring the attention to detail and picking it all apart, ever so curious about the deal with One-One and the Secretary and the train in general. I liked (still like?) Tulip! I wanted to see her find her way home, even if it didn’t answer all my questions about the train and its purpose. It seemed like it was building up to be a big literal metaphor for personal growth and I’m down with that.

And then… (first and final spoiler warning) it turned into robot fights and some British guy?

Oh dear.

Hell hath no rant machines like a fan disappointed. )

Final stray thought: In some ways I feel like my standards have gotten lower as of recent; sometimes I let myself enjoy the garbage and that is #valid. On the other hand, I’m still way more motivated to pick things apart than gush about the positives, so something something negativity bias I wish I didn’t walk away with the impression “maybe I should’ve lowered my standards” and yet.

2019-08-05 09:01 pm
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one plus one is (episode) two

Infinity Train thoughts, round two!

Read more... )
2019-07-22 01:10 pm
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ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN

“liveblog” of the first Infinity Train episode, unedited because where else am I supposed to dump stuff like this

notedump from the other night )

HMM okay so my overall thoughts were like. really narration-/tulip-talking-to-herself heavy but it’s a kids’ cartoon debut so whatever ig. did Not expect like a quarter of the ep to focus on her home life but that’s an interesting touch & I wonder if the code camp will end up having something to do with the whole train mystery? it definitely felt like a prologue more than a complete story on its own which is pretty dang cool for what could very well be a long-running overarching story

admittedly if I have one teeny tiny gripe it’s that the animation feels a Tad stiff but I’m starting to feel like that’s like.. Modern Cartoon Problem and not at all exclusive to this/She-Ra/SU/what have you but anyway. Cool StuffTM

a_flyleaf: (smug mug)
2019-04-19 04:15 pm
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spontaneous attempt to understand classpect #389258923479235739425729348

Your name is A-FLYLEAF and you are occasionally struck with the INEXPLICABLE URGE TO UNDERSTAND CLASSPECT. Every time you revisit the idea, you end up kneeling before the great classpect keyword chart and INTERNALLY CRYING.

Today you decided to top off your musings with AN ACTUAL CHART, and a condensed version of your current aspect understanding. (You’re pretty sure you’ve done this before, and each time it looks a little different. But what the fuck.)

A circular chart of the Homestuck aspects, via Hiveswap’s Extended Zodiac.

  1. Breath: “I’m gonna do what I want!”/Blood “I must serve my people”
    (freedom vs responsibility)
  2. Life: “Something wrong? I’ll fix it”/Doom “Something wrong? That sucks”
    (healing vs compassion)
  3. Light “I must know All the thing”/Void “I don’t know shit”
    (knowledge vs mystery)
  4. Time “Things end”/Space “Things begin”
    (decay vs creation)
  5. Heart “Who I am inside”/Mind “The mask I wear”
    (inner vs outer self)
  6. Hope “You can do it!”/Rage “No, you can’t!”
    (possibility vs limitation)
additional musings )
a_flyleaf: (smug mug)
2019-04-09 09:36 pm

there are no good puns for “april”

There’s a small handful of things I’ve wanted to write about since my last post, but none of those thoughts have come together into a coherent standalone ramble just yet. March kinda passed in a blur, but some media highlights:

  • Jack Stauber. Holy shit, Jack Stauber!!! Was introduced by a friend and this was the first video I watched, which among other recent uploads made for one hell of an impression. He makes these trippy VHS animations using (and often combining) surreal claymation, live action, MS Paint-looking animation, and some of the most bizarre music I’ve heard in a while. Consider it a “creator chose not to warn” experience. If that sounds up your alley, dive the heck in. Pick a video, any video; there’s no continuity.
    • Also, not everything is chaotic glitchiness! He’s got some full-length songs too, several of which are used in <1-minute videos. Of the calmer songs, “Today Today” is hands down my favorite. But if you want to spend a good few minutes wondering what the fuck you just watched, consider “Lima Bean Man” and (volume warning) “Shattered Molars”. For a dubiously-healthy tonal mix, also check out his series for Adult Swim, Shop!
  • On a more mainstream note, the new Mary Poppins was whimsical and I’m sure it satisfied the nostalgic yearnings of people who grew up with the original. Personally I couldn’t unsee/hear the chimney sweep guy as “wow, that’s Lin Manuel-Miranda Hamiltonmusical!”, the 2d sequence just made me sad Disney’s not making fully 2d movies anymore, and I will forever be annoyed on Travers’ (the original Mary Poppins author) behalf courtesy Saving Mr. Banks. But anyway.
  • *Also saw Captain Marvel, which did its job as a superhero power fantasy But With A Woman. If I think back on it too long I start poking more and more writing holes in it, but it was fun while it lasted and Carol and her “best friend” were in lesbians fight me on this.
  • BUT. FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING MARVEL courtesy Into the Spiderverse, and yes I jumped on the bandwagon real late with this one but W O W. WISH I’D SEEN THAT IN THEATERS. It really felt like a high-budget passion project from start to finish and I would LOVE to see more movies with experimental cgi animation like this!!

In other news, I’ve finally succumbed to using markdown to write posts. Prior to this I’ve been using HTML in a word doc Because I CanTM; links were fun to code, as you can imagine. Still, that whole Jekyll/GitHub thing uses markdown for the main content, and while I have no problem reading HTML it is less of a pain in the ass pulling up the guide + the recommended WYSIWYG editor.

Oh, and as for why I’m talking code again, and the main reason I finally logged into Dreamwidth in the first place? Personal! website! is now! a thing!!! \o/ And it only took like five hours of hyperfocus! Granted, I don’t quite know what to use it for, but I’m gonna put that off give it a day or two. If it still looks Acceptable with fresh eyes, I’ll finally get that sucker on Github for easier updating.

…Not coincidentally, I am also facing a minor crisis to the tune of “do I keep my Professional Art Portfolio completely separate from my Internet Shenanigans or say fuck it and unite it all under the banner of a-flyleaf,” so that’s been fun. It is a bridge that needs to be crossed sooner than later. BUT FOR NOW that sure is a thing that finally got coded! There’s a marginally more interesting preview to the left; click for fullsize. Images from Duolingo’s amazing April Fool’s offer and the webcomic Morally Grey.

…I feel like thre was supposed to be some kind of concluding paragraph to this but it got lost in the midst of coding shenanigans. Whoops.

*EDIT 7/30/19: Oh hey, clearing out some old notes and found the post-watch thoughts! Here ya go.unedited and raw )

a_flyleaf: (smug mug)
2019-02-23 08:25 pm

And in that moment, Vivian knew she fucked up.

Small* post today because I 1) am tired and 2) have other things to write before the lights go out for the night, but that was the most productive Saturday I’ve had since January, probably in ages holy wow.
*By my standards, based on what I’ve been posting here. I’m not holding myself to a weekly update post or anything, but if the timing fits...!

One of two new library reads of the day was The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, because I’ve read some scattered praises of her method and did not realize she has a book. While I can’t quiiite follow Kondo’s tips as much as I’d like to (she emphasizes discarding by category for your entire house, not one room at a time, and I very much do not own the house I live in so that’s not an option), it did prompt me to clear out every book I own. I actually have a free shelf now! And a big donation pile for the library or local charity or wherever!! Also reclaimed my gosh dang bedroom after various circumstances shoved my work area to a less ideal room from which there is minimal respite from background noise!!!

Anyway, library-work and tidying-work took up a majority of the day. So far so good. And while I could have done some assignment work, the load ain’t bad this week so I treated myself to the second book, Marvel’s The Vision.

I am not a big Marvel/DC fan, to be clear. I don’t dislike them, per say, but there’s so much got dang history and my interest in most* superhero stories isn’t big enough to overcome that intimidation factor. Mostly. I mean, I read and enjoyed Watchmen, but its DC tie-ins are like... absolute bare minimum.
(*By which I mean “mainstream,” which I know makes me sound like a pretentious prick but it’s true! Can not get into the movies and the comics don’t usually catch my eye either.)

Point is, Vision looked comprehensible enough as a standalone, I liked the Incredibles-esque premise, so what the heck. There goes my evening.

Not sure if I’ll write up a more comprehensive review or leave it at this, but my thoughts in sum are:
  • Pacing was pretty good, especially at the beginning. What a foreboding tone! As the forward states, this story takes itself pretty dang seriously, diving into ~the big questions~ about humanity and all that jazz. If anything, I found it a bit too far up its own ass at times, but I’m the last person to complain about pretentiousness. The unnatural dialogue also makes sense coming from sorta-not-really-robots.

  • As expected, there were heavy ties to larger Avengers lore from the getgo. I can’t really complain about this because it’d be like ranting about people with powers in superhero stories, but it nonetheless wasn’t my cup of tea. The story could still work if you swapped out the Avengers for $genericHeroTeam, but it doesn’t care to try. So like, solid addition to the franchise, probably, but it doesn’t work as a standalone as well as I’d hoped.

  • Having said that, my interest faltered when problems with the Avengers and Ultron’s family and all that lore connection started coming to the forefront about midway through. Until then they were more expositional matters than anything. Again, don’t really have the right to complain, but. The wife and daughter deserved better. as they usually do.

  • Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the reading experience as a whole, but by the end my thoughts are It Was Okay. It’s like an angstier Incredibles if you swapped out “supers” for synthetic people and threw in a bunch of corporate tie-ins. I was particularly not thrilled by the pitch letter (which, among other process work, takes up like half the book), which at the end pretty much says “yeah, we’re writing this to sell a new franchise,” which sorta puts a damper on the Serious Humanity-Questioning Work thing. Insert conversation about the artistic merit of commercial work here.

  • Anyway though, reviewing the story on its own merits and pretending they totally weren’t doing callbacks for like an entire issue: cool story. Genuinely surprised me at moments and the interplay of narrative and panel imagery is interesting. “How far people will go for family” is a neat theme to take in this direction even if it leaves a bit to be desired in favor of Doomed Super Antics. Is Virginia okay. Jesus christ, the neighbors deserved better, but I really like how they were characterized at the beginning—other side characters, with extensive biographical anecdote dropping, less so. Overall tightly-plotted with neat character motivations. I’m not sold on the franchise but I gave it to a relative, who’s a bigger Marvel/DC fan, to check out.


Anyway, for the shortest month of the year, February has felt long >:V Progress on [redacted] and today’s cleaning/reading spree have been the big highlights. I know it’s a bit early for an end-of-month roundup, but that’s pretty much all I have to report and I dunno if I’ll write again within the next five days, so... here’s to March clearing the lower bar!!
2019-02-01 07:43 pm

if there were two faces on a guy and one looked in the opposite direction would that be fucked up or

Pros of Dreamwidth’s Reading page being available logged out: goodbye, need to compulsively check my “dashboard” every single waking moment of my life!

Cons of Dreamwidth’s Reading page being available logged out: goodbye, need to log in at all, except maybe once a week when the Post Idea hits!

Anyway, that sure was a month that happened. Because I am probably inevitably going to freak out later over “wasting” my entire break, here’s some stuff I’ve been up to, in no particular order \o/

gratuitous talking about myself )
2019-01-19 02:01 pm
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Public Author, Do Not Kill: Thoughts on Character Writing in the Age of Social Sharing

Here’s the catch: when you read a story I’ve written, you’re not thinking about me—you’re thinking as me. I’ve wormed my way inside your head (hi!) and briefly taken over your mind. You’re forced to reckon with my full complexity—or, at least, whatever fraction of that complexity I’ve managed to get down on the page.

When the story is over—or if you put it down midway—you’re free to think whatever you want. You can think, Dumb, or Boring, or Great, or, She looks like a bitch in her author photo, or, What the fuck did I just read?

But I don’t need to be there to absorb your reaction. In fact, I shouldn’t be. My role in the process is over. The interpretation, the criticism, the analysis telling you that you’re right or that you’re wrong or that you’re an asshole—that’s someone else’s job. I can’t, and won’t, take part.

Kristen Roupenian, writing on her viral story “Cat Person” and the fallout of thereof; minor formatting tweaks made for emphasis


I really like “death of the author*.” I’m a fan of the idea that you don’t need to know a single thing about the storyteller to understand and appreciate their work, and I’m intrigued by yet increasingly wary of conversations around media that focus on writer intention. This ranges from the scholarly “you must have historical context for any of this to make sense” to the… decidedly less scholarly “the author condones $unsavoryThing featured in the story.”

(*For clarification’s sake, I’m mostly using writerly-type terms like author/writer/reader here, but I think this is applicable to any media primarily created by one person—so not big-budget movies with a writing team, necessarily, but maybe an indie game.)

I’m also increasingly feeling like it’s impossible to kill the author. Lindsay Ellis’ video essay on the subject goes into this with far more depth than I ever could, and applicable to larger media at that, but I’m not even gonna try going there today.

Instead, I’ve been thinking about people who post about their OCs and those characters’ stories (or lack of thereof) online. (“OC” in this context being Original Character, in case the acronym means something else in whatever corners of the internet you’re more familiar with.)

This is a metric crudton of detour-ridden rambling with no particular end goal, written first and foremost to sort out some thoughts I’ve been mulling over for the past month or so. It takes a big detour into character development talk that’s only tangentially related to the main topic. Editing? What’s that? You’ve been warned. (Or, uh, enjoy! if that’s your cup of tea.)

obligatory cut for length )